That’s a whole post in a title..now that the husband has stepped up to the father role, he also wants to lay claim to the privileges that come with it, which apparently includes a say in nomenclature.
It is kind of sweet though that he’s been walking around with his 3 (unacceptable either coz they suck or other reasons) names so far on a small chit in his wallet so we shall let him be. Honestly, I do like the top one on his list. And in a parallel universe where the parents and society and all that weren’t involved I would be okay with it. But I want everyone in the family to like the name even if we’re the ones picking and this one might not fit that bill. I’m wondering if we can make it a middle name though..like Vibha <something> Vinod. And she can use whichever one she likes.
On the topic of privileges though, if they are in any sort of proportion to the pains we all know who’s winning that round.
So we’re back home, the mafia and the patient and the status quo pretty much continues. 21st is the date we’re trying to get to, with everyone’s sanity and the baby inside intact. Is funny how life has been reduced (/elevated) to a wait for her but the whole point is for her to not come before she’s strong and healthy enough.
And meanwhile I’m sitting on the couch getting frustrated at the fact that the new place is hardly set up (it is the opposite of set up, with cartons everywhere and things still in boxes and amma still making do with the hanky for a tea sieve coz the two that we have haven’t made their appearance). Of course it is nobody’s fault, amma has the kitchen neat and functional but the rest of the house is still in boxes. And between work and a 100 errands Vin hasn’t had the time. (and since this is my blog and my say, I might add, lacks the inclination). I had a 100 ideas for the house when we took it, for plants and paintings and photos and to see it like this and not be able to lift a finger is stressing me out.
And let’s face it, between Vin and I, I’m the worker, the one with any amount of energy at all to get things done. If he had a choice Vin would spend his whole life on a couch with his feet up. And right now, with me out of action he has enough on his plate to have time or energy to unpack the house.
The other thing is that the nursery ain’t ready either, and this for a kid that is threatening to come early. Yeah I know, the kid prolly doesn’t care and all it’d want is the milk booth (aka me) and diapers (even the diapers are for the world’s sake not hers) but what with the preterm scare and all that God knows if we’ll do this another time (although I still very much want to, even if a few months of lying on bed is what it takes, but when the Doc lectured us on what this means for the next baby Vin said all the info is good by way of general knowledge). And for my fancy I wanted the nursery and the rocking chair and all the jing bang
I guess now might be a time for me to learn some patience and humility and to learn to let go, now that I’m on the threshold of motherhood. Will come in handy for the next, what, 25 years? (Or more if you ask the mother who’s visiting the 29 year old daughter).
I could get used to this. Like it’s 1 in the afternoon now and I have no clue where my morning went. Scary scary scary. I prefer the frustration of the early days to a rut 😦
- To be at least marginally more confident than her mother who suffers chronically from lack of it. (Implication being of course that the mother has many talents that would warrant said confidence)
- The ability to see the good in people, to be not too quick to judge. (Hard being of the female inclination, nevertheless) I don’t mean the gossip, I’d gossip with you. But to not despise or hate anyone, to put people in boxes too quickly. To not hold a grudge and to be able to forgive. Essentially, to be sensitive.
- To be smart, sharp and perceptive.
- If the choice were between ambitious and being happy, to be happy. (Some would say I’m setting her up for complacence here)
- To have enough wealth so it isn’t a concern but to be wise enough to realize that the happiness-vs-wealth graph flatlines out beyond a certain point. (Achan put this beautifully when he was featured in the ‘Jeevitham enne enthu padippichu’ in the ‘Malayalam’ magazine. Actually everything on there is good advice for the granddaughter, if I can dig it up from archives or something)
- To be fortunate to be close to her extended family on both sides. This is an onus more on me/us than her.
- To grow up loving books.
- To learn to share happily.
- To be rich by way of friendship.
- (Being entirely honest..) to be reasonably confident about her looks while not being obsessively worried or too vain (yes yes, the progenitors aren’t stellar looking, but you never know with the gene pool..).
- To have gotopeople in her parents (and sibling hopefully) and gotoplace (home) that makes things alright even when the world seems to be falling apart. (I was lucky thus and she deserves the same of us).
PS: I know this a tall order, but it isn’t for nothing that you’re my daughter. So live up, do.
PS1: None of the above are virtues (where they are virtues) that I can lay claim to. But all is fair by way of parents wanting for their kids what they haven’t had themselves, been themselves, seen themselves etc.
I love love love my husband. And the father he is turning out to be.